Ly- love or hate? both are equally hurting
Montag, Oktober 30, 2006
Life.....
when people act to get close to u
u noe when not to trust
they TREAT U LIKE TOYS
well ive seen quite enough
its hard
and behind that fake smile
theres a real me
one nobody has ever seen
label as
-childish
-depressed
-patient
u aint seen the real me yet
everytime u tear down one mask theres always another
i thought i COULD TRUST U
turns out i coudnt
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON
OH OH
I TRIP, I FALL, I CATCH MYSELF
EVEN WISHEN I WAS SOMEONE ELSE
I’M NEVER WHERE I’M SUPPOSE TO BE
OH OH
I LAUGHOUT LOUD AT STUPID THINGS
WHEN I’M NERVOUS IV’E BEEN KNOWN TO SING
I’M NOT SURE WHAT I SHOULD BELIEVE
I DON’T KNOW WHO I AM YET (AM YET, AM YET)
BUT I KNOW WHO I WANNA BE
CHORUS
ITS AN ADVENTURE (AN ADVENTURE)
FINDING THE REAL ME (THE REAL ME)
IM A REFLECTION (A REFLECTION)
EVERYTHING I SEE (THE REAL ME)
I CANT WAIT TO DISCOVER
I KNOW IM GOIN TO LOVE HER
THE REAL ME
UH UH UH UH UH UH
I STUMBLE, I CRUMBLE WHEN YOUR NEAR
AND ALL OF MY THOUGHTS JUST DISAPPEAR
I FIND MYSELF IN AN AKWARD SPOT
IM LOSIN ALL MY SLEEP AT NIGHT
FEEL THE QUESTION IN MY MIND
DOES HE LOVE ME
DOES HE LOVE ME NOT
I BUILD UP MY CONFIDENCE WITH EVERY EXPERIENCE
ITS AN ADVENTURE (AN ADVENTURE)
FINDING THE REAL ME (THE REAL ME)
IM A REFLECTION (A REFLECTION)
EVERYTHING I SEE (THE REAL ME)
I CANT WAIT TO DISCOVER
I KNOW IM GOIN TO LOVE HER
THE REAL ME
UH UH UH UH YA YA YA YA
UH UH UH UH YA YA YA YA
AN ADVENTURE (AN ADVENTURE)
FINDING THE REAL ME (THE REAL ME)
IM A REFLECTION (A REFLECTION)
EVERYTHING I SEE (THE REAL ME)
I CANT WAIT TO DISCOVER
I KNOW IM GOIN TO LOVE HER
THE REAL ME…………
UH ……………
me *[[Im not perfect and neither are u]]*
at10:29 PM
Life.....
if only u knew how much u meant
ive held out till today
i thought i could vent it all out
but u didnt appear
ive just had a bad day
and u had to choose today
so u had fun
u enjoyed urself
no more stress
and i dun noe where u are
i walked to school
the long way
sat there for a whole half hour being ignored
did free labour to be treated as invisible
WHO DO U THINK I AM
steel?
walked home in the heavy rain
i waved
i thought u'd be there
am not going to talk to anyone
-can play while im in a bad mood
-can laugh and leave me to fend for myself
-can forget that
-u dun understand
no one sees the tears
they think im superwoman
i can work and i dun have feelings
u think i love to smile?
tt i wont be sad?
ure wrong
im human
me *[[Im not perfect and neither are u]]*
at10:04 PM
Freitag, Oktober 27, 2006
Life.....
[-EDITED-]*
thought abt wad i want for my bday
some can be bought
others are luck
though no one comes here
4- leaf clover pendant with chain [like my jies]
friends [since p1, never got my dream]
original hexic cd [longing for a long time]
multi-drawered box [a big one, got loads of stuff]
red cord for 3 items [need before camp]
math, ss, geog or hist guidebooks [depends on wad i get, can be a little belated]
financial literacy set [not out yet but LOVE it]
same class [well people u wont ever imagine]
concentration [loads, bet u cant give me]
smaller version of the purple bear [cute but i rather i get those above]
sling bag [keep things la!]
hockey ball [memories...]
blue jacket [what? i need another one]
teochew guidebooks [got to learn somehow]
yellow and red and reddish-brown pens [if u knew me well enough u'd know wad brand]
sudoku [lalala]
german game [old but fun]
many black hairclips [i dun really need it but yea]
blue pens [if u are broke]
and like someone, a luxurious house and car of my own [i wish!]
wait no dun add to pollution
i know im a greedy person
but i've wanted these for quite long
prob no one might ever find this place anyway
have prioritised it
and i know i wont get all i want
if u want to be sure i like it start from the top
underlined those i have
but doesnt mean i dun need another
its gonna be precamp again on that day
haix
me *[[Im not perfect and neither are u]]*
at11:38 PM
Life.....
this isnt going to sound right
but i found some words
thought they were right for the occasion
diatribe
impugn
debility
disingenuous
languor
vagary
tts how i feel
not tt anyone wld understand
me *[[Im not perfect and neither are u]]*
at10:30 PM
Dienstag, Oktober 24, 2006
Life.....
ever tried being left out?
it isnt nice
but i guess its fair when i get left out
already labelling camp things
is it too early?
i really shld go tmr
i shld
but i dun want to
im going to cry tmr
it might be the last time frau tan teaches me
theres something wrong
but i cant pinpoint it
mind bender chuzzle
here i come
me *[[Im not perfect and neither are u]]*
at9:42 PM
Montag, Oktober 23, 2006
Life.....
ever heard the saying from fairy tales?
happily ever after
guess theres no such thing in real life
its never that easy
ever had a close friend?
funny thing is
its not the share alike type
nor the give in type
we're friends cos we argue
but not anymore
sometimes i wonder why
when i think back it seems like it was my fault
like i started it
not that i will ever say it out loud
ever tried being scared?
its not fun
and scared as in really
not just grades or simple stuff
scared till u have to cry urself to sleep
cry in front of the computer
try not to cry in buses, mrt, taxi
even in the classroom halfway through the lessons
and suddenly something strikes a chord
and u want to cry
like the chinese compo
meaningful gift?
i wanted to write about the friendship band
but decided kim didnt own it anymore
so i wrote about a certain bear
sitting on my pillow
and it still is precious
i dun want to lose my friends
i could have accepted the trio
its not fun being left out
u prob have experienced it before
but its different when u could give up anything for both people
but have them leave u out
u could give ur time, energy
its called loyalty
u waited to have them leave first
u went hungry so they could have fun
u try to change ur image
u know they're not happy with it
u were an individual
but u tried
really hard
still it didnt seem quite enough
so u did wad u did best
u tao2 bi4
u ran away
and u took the easy way out
what was there to talk about when u didnt want the same thing repeating?
it was scary
u were scared
and when u wanted something u could go to extreme measures
sometimes
how badly?
when u trust a person u listen to wad she says
and if she does
u know who to trust
sometimes my intuition cant be tt bad
i talk to be listened to
not ignored
if not appreciated
i can shut it
time will heal all wounds
how long is needed?
is it true our problems began last year?
wad exactly happened?
WAS THIS A LIE???
SO MANY THINGS SOUND DIFFERENT
WAD HAPPENED?
I WANR TO KNOW
me *[[Im not perfect and neither are u]]*
at10:25 PM
Sonntag, Oktober 22, 2006
Life.....
it hurts to hear whatever u know
u can try
when u're down and u cant talk to anyone
cos everyone wont help
when ur friends dont understand
and they wont ever
when ur family doesnt know
and thinks u've no problems
life cant get much worse
when u think u're at rock bottom
and suddenly something happens
u think it can get better
and u hit the ground again
when u had a glimmer of hope
its so hard to know
people are so unpredictable
2007 wont be an easy year
exams
pop
graduation
friends
grades
lifes hard
trust, thats what friends do
dory
if i had known growing up was hard,
i wouldnt have tried so hard
all i had thought of was i wanted to be older
and i wanted to grow up
but now...
haix
me *[[Im not perfect and neither are u]]*
at10:28 PM
Freitag, Oktober 20, 2006
Life.....
must u put it up?
im very disappointed
i didn want to go for a reason
but u've given me another
me *[[Im not perfect and neither are u]]*
at11:57 PM
Donnerstag, Oktober 19, 2006
Life.....
im not generous
and im mad at the whole world
and im not gonna give in cos u're sacked
it doesnt make sense
and i cant see the avoiding
its like i have something against everyone i noe
but i cant tell
look at the emotional burden
me *[[Im not perfect and neither are u]]*
at9:52 PM
Samstag, Oktober 14, 2006
Life.....
i thought we were friends
that i had a right to remain silent
and u would believe me
but u didnt
so there
im not that same person anymore
i dont need anyone to ke lian wo
me *[[Im not perfect and neither are u]]*
at10:26 PM
Freitag, Oktober 06, 2006
Life.....
am apparently online now
or not so apparently
ok im trying too hard
anyway i alr said i only come here when im sad so here i am
some people say im patient
well they're wrong
u know why i waited?
i wasnt patient
i had to go home to study for the next exam
and i ended up alw waiting for at 20min
and for wad?
for u to say u're hungry and u're going to eat with ur frens
u cld have smsed from ur class
u cld have told me beforehand
and u chose to make me wait
what am i?
at ur beck and call?
i've been saying it doesnt matter
and i didnt care
but did i say im not that generous?
i didnt do all that and work that hard for u to flaunt it
i repeat
i work
u flaunt
and what am i?
air?
u saw me two days ago
i know u did
u were walking towards ave 2 side
from ave 4
and u just walked past
so maybe im not referring to one person
and guess what i was doing since i came online?
bet u cant
cos u just dont know me well enough
in fact u dun need to know me well to guess what i was doing
i tried venting the anger in some other ways
i ate
i cooked a whole meal in 30 min
i walked
i ran
i ate some more
but did it work?
no it didnt
is there any other way?
cos i realised none work
pls let me find a way before i stuff myself to death
just keep eating
i think im e only antisocial person who went straight home aft the exams today
i saw even those two who misunderstand each other go to northpoint
so heres mummys girl
if u had ever spared a thought for how i felt when u ran off everytime after i waited so long
u would know how im feeling now
shall start on next project
its due soon
bet no one remembers
so dont reply
no one cares anyway
i cant talk to anyone
or i should say anyone who can talk
well i alw have a few stuff bears on my bed
thats got to hold me on now
everyone thinks u're perfect and im lucky
are they right?
isolated
deserted
lonely
and going to stay that way for awhile
me *[[Im not perfect and neither are u]]*
at9:52 PM
Mittwoch, Oktober 04, 2006
Life.....
why is it people are like tt?
say i want to be friends with x
x is indifferent
k l m want to be friends with me
but i dont really like them
l doesnt like m
m likes l
l doesnt like k
k doesnt like l
the weirdest thing is they all act normally around each other
n also wants to be friends with me
but do i look like i like her?
o is someone who just took olevels
but too busy now
and look whos just signed in
p is older
doing project
q is much older
shes nice but alw studying in her boarding sch
r is nice too but hey
there'll be a problem
s is the nicest friend i ever had
too bad theres a age diff
t is sort of cannot keep things to herself one
not one to trust
u has her own life now
but it was fun while it lasted (:
v still keeps my contact
its been awhile
w sometimes smses me funny stuff
and we talk
y and z are quite good friends with me
when i finally meet them
well lets not use abc
sort of funny to use same letters for diff people
d and e are a year apart from me
e met me first but i rmb i really like d
they nv replied my emails now
its a long long time
f helped me alot
but shes my nemesis now
she still walks home nowadays
i thought i saw her 2 days ago while i was running home frm the other way
g used to only be rebellious
now is going a little overboard
h was helped by x before but never returned the favour
not my choice of a friend
i? well i is reserved for me
get it? I
will leave it to u to decide what type of person i am
j is my private and personal journal:)
arent people weird?
me *[[Im not perfect and neither are u]]*
at10:36 PM
Montag, Oktober 02, 2006
Life.....
i may have changed.
but how much is it?
i know i changed
i can feel it
attitudes have changed towards me
can i say its a good change?
me *[[Im not perfect and neither are u]]*
at10:25 PM
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